Today I Saw A Squirrel - PART 2

I became very upset that this particular squirrel did not respond. I left him another letter:

Dear Squirrel,

Sorry to bother you again, but I fell the need to clarify something. In my last letter, I explained why I wrote to you in the first place, and in doing so I think I may have mistakenly left you with the impression that I, in fact, do think you're cute. I do not. Nothing could be further from the truth. I do not think you're that cute. I do not think you are cute at all.

My original error was in writing to you to begin with, not in my opinion of your cuteness or lack thereof. My first letter was simply an attempt to explain why I yelled at you, and to apologize for writing it without thinking my actions through. Then, as I said, this second letter is to clarify any potential misunderstandings about whether or not I think you are that cute.

Again: I do not.

In fact, I think you look like a whore.

Sincerely,

Jacob Eisner