I add a question mark for obvious reasons.
Santa? What the hell, honestly? I’ve always wanted to slap the guy who came up with Santa. Not just because I’m Jewish and I’m jealous that we don’t have an equivalent for Hanukkah, but because Santa flies around the fucking earth with reindeer. How high do you have to be to come up with that idea?
Why would you even come up with that?! Were you really poor or something? Don’t worry, I don’t have to buy you presents, a fat old man will climb down our chimney just as long as we leave cookies and milk out and give you presents. He’ll have to put them under the tree you cut down and decorated for no reason, so make sure you do that to.
I think the scariest part is that he knows if your asleep or awake; nice or naughty. Thats creepy shit you know? What if I was very naughty lately and I was asleep? That just sounds like an innuendo bound to go wrong!
Guys, I kinda wish I had the creativity to make this holiday.
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