Today I Saw A Squirrel - PART 3

My followers, I apologize about how lame that last post was horrible. Hopefully this makes up for it;

Dear Squirrel,

Now I've gone overboard and I know it. I mean, if me yelling it caught you off guard, I can only imagine how that last letter hit you - probably like a ton of bricks. (Although because you are a squirrel, I should probably adjust that expression to something like, "It hit you like a single brick," because the impact of a single brick would be roughly the equivalent on a ton of bricks hitting me.)

One again, by saying you look like a whore, I acted rashly and said something I didn't really mean. After all, how can a squirrel look like a whore anyway?

I don't know if squirrels understand Yiddish, but I not only feel like a schmuck but I also feel like a putz.

Sincerely,

Jacob Eisner

P.S. I am leaving the wonderful novel The Yiddish Policemens Union as a small token of my mistakes. (Another suggestion from my therapist.) Enjoy!